Reading time: ~4 mins · Tagged: eczema-journey
When my kid was still a newborn, her skin started to show signs that something wasn’t quite right. With my mom’s instinct, I knew what’s normal and what’s not. Cradle cap, tiny rashes that won’t go away, skin that reacted to almost everything — I had a feeling early on that she’d struggle with her skin.
We left the clinic with a “maybe” and a lot of anxiety.
When we consulted, the doctor couldn’t confirm it was eczema but the possibility was high given our family history (I might share more on this in another post). So we were left sitting with a “maybe,” which, as a parent, is one of the hardest things to sit with.
On top of the skin, she was also admitted to the hospital several times in her first three years for respiratory issues. We went back and forth to the clinic just to get nebulized, but she kept struggling to breathe — so she’d end up referred and warded again.
The nights were long, the days were exhausting. Managing a sick baby in a hospital with treatment, unfamiliar environment, and breastfeeding all happening at once – it was one of the hardest seasons I’ve been through.
She had to take neb every 2 hours, then every 4, slowly stretching out as she got a little better. But it would take days each time.
Even on normal days, she needs her inhaler daily. We tried stopping once but the moment she got a flu or cough, it was multiple trips to the clinic all over again. So for now, we follow what the doctors advise and we stick with it.
Confused and frustrated, we felt stuck.
I followed everything our dermatologist advised, but at some point, it just stopped working for us. That was when I felt like it was a wake up call to take a step back, try something different, something more natural.
We switched to organic products and lifestyle changes – and trust me, it’s not cheap. I also acknowledged that healing takes time. No steroid means it’s going to be a very slow process.
During the transition, her skin got worse before it got better. We expected that, but others didn’t get it. Only parents who’ve been through eczema, or people who have it themselves, really understand what that looks like and how heavy it feels to watch. The healing process would surely take time, and it’s a slow process.
Every time we saw people, they’d suggest products to try. I know they meant well. But after a while, it became overwhelming. Especially when not-so-close relatives or friends or even strangers would ask what happened to her skin, and we’d have to explain all over again. Butttt, that was still manageable.
What broke me was when people said she looked like she’d been beaten… because her skin was so red and raw. As I put a smile on, I was crying inside. I reminded myself, people don’t see behind the scenes and it’s not our responsibility to make them understand. We spent not hundreds, but thousands trying to “fix” this. The money is one thing… but the hours, the energy, the mental space it takes up every single day is a whole other weight.
Sometimes I felt like people were judging how I handled my kid.
The stress of it all made my own eczema flare up too. Yes, I have eczema as well, and it can get really bad (I’ll share more on that too).
There was one time my MIL brought us to a local clinic, and the doctor kept questioning why I stopped using steroids. I literally cried in that room. Because I wasn’t being reckless, I was making a considered choice for my child, and having to defend that over and over was just too much. I know how to manage my condition and my kid’s. Even that doctor acknowledged it eventually.
But sometimes, parenting means making difficult calls that others won’t always understand.
It affects more than the skin.
When it comes to this topic, I can get really emotional because it’s exhausting. It really is. It shapes so much of our life. The things we can’t do, the sleepless nights, waking up every 2 hours to scratching and struggling to go back to sleep, then still having to show up for work the next morning. It felt like still having a newborn (lol).
I’m not sharing this to complain. I’m sharing because I know some parents will understand exactly what this feels like.
Basically, Mom 